“On Living with Regret” from Kate Bowler

From time to time I cede this space to voices whose wise perspectives may be needed. Today, I’m sharing again a piece from Kate Bowler, this one entitled, “On Living with Regret.” I commend to you this medium-length read.

I imagine that many of us strive to live a life of “no regrets,” and that is an admirable goal. Often, that helps us to make good decisions, or at least the best ones for the time.

But as Bowler shares, regret can come to us from many directions. Sometimes, a challenging medical situation leaves us with few good options and we come to regret a path not taken. Sometimes we tell ourselves that a choice was “for the best,” when we knew (or come to know) deep down, it wasn’t.

Bowler writes, “Lent asks us to turn slightly—and carefully—and ask: is anyone rightfully filing paperwork to the Complaints Department about me?” That can be a tall order, especially for those of us who find it easy to beat up on ourselves and/or push away the parts of ourselves that could really use some work.

But as one commenter shared, regret can also be reframed (as Paul did) as “godly sorrow” (2 Cor. 7:10), leading us toward confession, repentance, and the freedom that some call salvation. And it can start with phrases as simple—or at least as short as—“I was wrong;” “I’m sorry;” “I still care.”

This Sunday, we’ll look at how another short phrase, “give me a drink,” launched a conversation of immeasurable depths. Transformation may be a long process, but it can begin with simple clarity and an invitation to act.